Unsaid.

Dear friend. I won't tell you this. It would just piss you off and that wouldn't do either of us any good. It's on my mind, however, and I need to get it out. You don't read this so I guess an unsent letter is the best way to get it off my chest quietly.

Your son left. Finally, I want to say. He's in his mid-twenties after all. But he left violently with injury and destruction. Of course there is the question of how he will live, too, since he's never worked a job for more than a day or two. It's a sad, sad thing but you need to take some of the blame.

So he has a learning disability. Big deal so do many functional individuals. He's proven that he is a bright individual even if he can't jump through the academic hoops. You were right to "fight for him" all those years with the schools. But you didn't do him any favors by blaming every issue on the disability. There's a point where the LD becomes irrelevant and his behaviour in dealing with it becomes key. You taught him not to cope. "It's not M's fault." That was the mantra. The mantra was wrong.

Your son has grown up to be an insufferable asshole. He has thrown away jobs after a day or two because they bored him or he thought himself too good for them. You let him get away with it. You supported him and gave him a free ride. It's not his fault was wrong - it is his fault.

I've watched my sister with her son. He is autistic with no innate sense of proper social behaviour. She has worked with him over and over and over that the causes aren't his fault but his reactions are his responsibility. That's what your son is lacking - responsibility for his reaction to the world.

I don't want to hear you cry or moan about it. I don't want to hear righteous indignation at his ungrateful response when he raged and left. I don't want to hear any of it. You've fed this kind of behaviour for years. How can you suddenly be suprised by it?