Doormat.

How is it that my wimpy idiot husband has managed to make me such a doormat? I am fighting the "I'm Leaving" urge really hard right now.

He has no idea what I want, what I have planned to do, or even what I like. I can put my plans on the calendar and he never looks. He sees nothing wrong with making plans for both weekend days and assuming that that's fine with me. He tries to plan stuff for us to do too - without consulting me - though so far that has tended to fall through. And what pisses me off most he sees nothing wrong with constantly telling the boy no when the boy asks for his time. He's "busy" which usually translates to watching some 2 bit re-run tv show.

Last night he decided we needed to go out to dinner with his sister despite the fact that she was perfectly content to cancel family torture because she wasn't prepared to host. (Because god knows they can't manage to plan and stick with a plan for regular torture night.) He decided where - pizza hut - coincidentally on the very day we picked up pizza kits from the school fundraiser. And it was a different school's fundraiser at the hut so it was packed. I might not mind so much except that idiot boy doesn't even hold actual conversations with the siblings when we see them - I guess it's my job to handle all the family social interaction as well.

So plans were made without me. Never mind that I had taken the dog to the vet for his checkup right after work and was arriving home late. Never mind that I had things I needed to do last night. There is a huge pile of paperwork I need to do an IEP coming up and I still have 500 flyers to make for PTA - separated by grade. No, we had to eat out. Then I got stuck picking up all the boy's toys because we didn't get home until after bedtime and today is cleaning day. Oh, and what was I smoking to think I'm allowed the vanity of watching one tv show a week.

I have always vowed not to negatively impact the boy's life for my own selfishness. This, however, is getting old. The worst part is there is no way to interact with the husband in an adult fashion. If I "have a serious conversation" with him, it turns into a lecture because he will not contribute and then he will go sulk. If I yell at him, he will cry and then he will go sulk. This is how I end up giving in - he leaves no place to discuss and I'm the bad guy if there's any resistance. I need a better strategy.