Family Dynamics.

The thing about in-laws is that they have their own sets of family dynamics going. It can be annoying or interesting depending on your mindset. Since I see my husbands family nearly every week I've learned to put on my sociologists hat before dinner night.

In my family we are unfailingly nice to one another and very polite. If we have a problem with you or what you've done, we are far more likely to talk about you behind your back later. I have a niece in particular who has been the subject of many a family rant.

The husband's family has no such policy. DH himself feels for some reason to say something nasty every time for no apparent reason (other than "it's a sibling thing you don't take it seriously"). Last night was a treasure of family disfunction.

Oldest sister has one daughter just finished college. Youngest sister has one daughter just hitting puberty. Oldest is a pleasant lady married to a total jerk. Grad has taken on some of the jerkish tendancies of her father. In fact personality-wise she doesn't have a lot to recommend her. She has no friends (apparently everyone else on the planet is "stuck up"), no job yet (though she considered auditioning for the touring company of Beauty & the Beast - but she wasn't sure about the travel). She is the subject of No good deed goes unpunished .

Well the young teen doesn't much care for the grad and spent the whole evening baiting her. It was mostly digs about having a job, but it was really obvious. Add to that that the young teen doesn't have a great vocabulary (she actually had to ask what cease and desist means) which the know-it-all grad latched onto. It was a circus.

I've never seen such nastiness that didn't come to blows. All with a veneer of family nice. Makes me wonder how outsiders see my family. Maybe I should have been a sociologist after all.