What I didn't do this weekend.

I'm a bit down today, but I think I'll just attribute it to tired, sore and sniffly. The back hallway looks like it was meant to be the new color. I like it bunches as long as I don't look at the various problems with the paint on the doors. Perhaps someday when I'm feeling ambitious I'll sand them and redo them. For now they are no longer pink and that is good enough.

Nice to read about everyone's weekends. Congratulations to Gen on her elevation. I had intended to go to Crusades, but didn't. I've been thinking about why for a bit today. The truth is that I just can't face that kind of event alone anymore. Since I don't fight and I'm not in a household or active in the home group, I just end up wandering aimlessly. I chat here and there, but eventually I just feel out of place.

My history in the SCA was built on being part of various groups, being Baroness, or being in the kitchen. When it's just me it's too much to haul a bunch of gear and when I travel light I'm sort of anchorless. That isn't too bad for an indoor event, but at a big outdoor shindig like Crusades it sucks. So I just stayed home.

Sad to say, but it's probably the defining thing about the future of my SCA involvement. I'd like to be involved again, but I can't spare many weeknights to re-develop relationships with the people in the group and I just don't have fun at events without the relationships. And while I have many SCA friends who are good for a chat here and there, I only have a couple friends left with whom I have a real relationship. Maybe we were never that close before either, but I had enough activities to mask it. Now there's fewer activities, and it highlights how little I really belong.