Baggage.

I wrote a fairly long entry, but I'm not going to post it. It started in one direction and amazingly took me in a whole different one as I wrote it. It was angry and bitter. Not something to save.

This seems to be a very introspective week. Is it because I only have half the normal diaries to read? I've been taking out my emotional baggage bit by bit and looking through the contents. All my hurts, all my disappointment even the bitter anger. Unfortunately I take it out, examine it and then put it away again. I just can't seem to come out with a plan to get rid of it forever.

In the last 24 hours or so I've thought of at least a dozen reasons from my past that I should resent my sister. I don't think I resent her, though, I'm carrying those bags a little differently than that. I know why I'm hurt and angry about some of my current life. I just don't have a plan to improve it.

On one hand I wonder if I should find a nice therapist to help work through it, on the other they are my issues and ultimately I'm the one who has to find a way to put them to rest. A way that heals me. I think if someone else gave me suggestions of how to do it, I'd just get peeved at them.

And being peeved at yet another person is too heavy for the karma.

Today I learned that if I wanted to be truely environmentally responsible I would consider growing poison ivy. This is because 1) it's a local plant not a foreign invasive and 2) birds and animals really like eating the berries. I think it might also keep folks from cutting through my woods ... Hmm

TTFN