Paths, soulmates and a bit of irony.

A bit of real life irony. I've been watching what I eat and adding more fruits, veggies and fiber. I think I've been doing really well. I've gained 2 pounds. I think the fiber is making me retain water or something. Bah.

I've been looking at the paths I've chosen that seem to have gotten my life so far off from the track that I wanted. I thought I would find the fork in the road where I went wrong but it's more like a series of wanderings.

There was the insecure boyfriend who didn't want to hang out with my friends. Relationships that weren't nurtured became brittle.

There was a position that alienated me from other friends. There were the assorted boyfriends that the others found and wanted to hang out with. And some relocations to other states.

Then after my mom died, there was no joining force in my family. That was followed by the family Thanksgiving that I didn't get an invite to until 2 days before. Which was followed by the Christmas where I invited friends to my house because there wasn't a family thing (or at least none I was invited to).

Lots of twists and turns. Then the realization that I was pretty much alone. I tried to hook up with a guy I had "worshiped from afar" but a couple of random words showed me that while I might be in that mode, he wasn't. He was still hoping for the other girl.

And right at that time I got invited to a party. A party whose main purpose was to see if a mutual friend could hook me up with my husband. Who wouldn't go for that?

I see now how the fates brought me here. I see why it was such a good idea at the time. I see why Dougal's father said that "when you're ready to get married, the next girl is the right one". Even when they aren't.

Understanding is, I suppose, the first step.

I sometimes wonder if I haven't already met my soulmate, but he was such a jerk that I'm better off without him. I mean he really was a jerk, I've got witnesses. He left after I balked at supporting him so he could lay around, watch tv and study russian. But we could talk for hours and even when he left I still missed talking to him.

I think I'll nurture my literary love instead.

TTFN