Back to the Normal Routine.

Quiet weekend, but not tortuous. The shrink and I have been bantering back and forth about my need to have things to do on the weekend. She obviously doesn't have kids as she thinks that being home with the boy should be a fullfilling activity. Since most of our interactions are him telling me about the computer games he and my husband play or perhaps what he did on the gameboy or singing me a cartoon theme song (or tv ad) and me making him lunch, I just don't see the attraction. This weekend I went shopping a bit, did a bit of gardening, did a bit of reading and a bit of sitting around. Not much fodder for the weekly session with the shrink. She and I poke at my boredom, we poke at my work, and we run out of time regularly. And I haven't delved at all into the disfunction that is my marriage. I'm keeping that to myself for now.

The WM program is, so far, pretty effective. I'm way above their suggested average weight loss. It was odd having last week off from the meetings. I did radical things like cook dinner every night and help my child with his summer workbook and listen to him read. I missed WM, though. There's only 4 more weeks of the program and I'm wondering what "Step 2" involves. I don't feel like I've made much in the way of real changes and I feel like when I'm cast out into the world I'll fall too easily back into the habits that made me so big.

We have an assignment to write our body a letter apologizing for mistreating it and thanking it for it's valiant service. I haven't gotten to writing it but the topic is food for thought. Personally I've been over weight pretty much forever, so I've been thinking about the origins of my fat. It's tough though, because I want to start heaping a bit of blame around. There were so many different factors over the length of my childhood. Looking back, I've realized I was never as horribly overweight as I thought I was. The serious obesity didn't come until after I got married. Not that I'm blaming the husband, by the time I married I was old enough to know better. I just had lousy coping mechanisms by then.

I'm looking forward to seeing the group tonight (even if it is just nutrition class). These women make me laugh. They have such wonderful vibrant personalities. Just got get through this dog of a day.