Blustery Day

Today I am reminding myself how good I have it. I am thinking of how cuddly the boy has been lately. I am thinking of how much of the work the man has been doing. I am thinking that I have a nice home. I am reminding myself how many people would praise God's name unceasingly for what I have.

This need for perspective started yesterday am and peaked just after lunch today. It started with webguy coming in and telling me that the new boss is putting him in charge of the techs. Personally I think this is not that great an idea, but we'll see. I didn't realize on how miffed I would be feelng about it by the end of the day. Once again my competence and even my tenure are being ignored. They all like to say how smart they think I am, but none of them will give me anything to do but stupid admin stuff.

Follow up with a meeting on disaster recovery. The meeting itself was not organized enough for my tastes. I didn't feel like a had a clear idea of who was supposed to accomplish what before the next time we meet, if there is a next time planned - we didn't even discuss that. There was also a plan going in, a counter proposal, a discussion of the requirements and no resolution. Frustrating. Plus my damn cell phone rang in the middle of the meeting. It was the soccer coach cancelling practice.

I planned to run an errand while the boys were at soccer. DH said I should go ahead but in the end I tried and failed. I was unable to attract the attention of the people at the place of business and wasn't feeling bold enough to make myself seen. I scooted home and they were in mid melt-down. Seems the man read the directions for the math to the boy completely wrong (yes, my husband has trouble with 2nd grade homework) causing it to be done backwards. Then the boy was completely without a strategy for alphabetizing and decided freaking out was his chosen response. Nothing big, just a burr under my saddle.

Then the boy picked his dad to do the evening honors (a rare treat) and I sank into a cheesy sappy movie on TV only to have the satellite cut out due to the rain 3/4 of the way through it.

This morning I 1) found the boys lost assignment book (in the backpack of all places, seems the guys never checked the other pocket) and 2) opened the fridge to have a full tub of margarine fly out and smack open decorating the floor nicely (because DH is too damn lazy to close the compartment it sits in).

Then our beloved former admin stopped by work today. We laughed so hard we cried and it almost felt like old times. Then I came back to the computer and find that the Princess has dumped a huge administrative task on me because "she doesn't have time for it". I have to check with the boss to see if he ok'ed that, but I have a feeling he did. With it my job esteem plummeted to zero and I grabbed my stuff and left. Walked out, got in the car and drove. I didn't want to go home, so I just hit the highway and after about 20-25 miles or so I calmed down looped around and came back.

Now I realize that I don't want this job any more. I am not valued here and probably never will be. This is it I will be looking for something new. Not immediately as there are just a couple things I need to accomplish first. I took my first step in that direction today. I was able to come back today because I am now disengaged. As of right now I no longer care about anyone or anything here. That could change, we'll see. In the meantime I will do my stupid ass admin tasks. I will do as good a job as I can but I will give them nothing more than what is required. I'm wishing now that I hadn't volunteered to work a weekend for these jerks.

See nothing major at all. I still have it very very good. So why do I feel so bad?