I started a joke*

The bossman finally realized that he is a joke. He's been the punchline of the corporation since before I started here and he just got the joke. He had accepted his place as whipping boy without ever considering that he had practically applied for the position.

Friday he had an epiphany. He told us that he watched the big bosses eyes scan his office and suddenly understood why he wasn't taken seriously. As of yesterday he had offloaded at least 6 very large boxes of toys from his office (the fruits of his ebay addiction). Today he can still probably fill that many again. It's not like he's never been told either. Last year his performance review was great except he was told to clean his office. He was told to pick 3 toys and remove the rest. It was something of a point of honor with him that he ignored that and nothing happened.

He's loud, in your face and can't have a conversation without profanity. Still, he wondered why he wasn't made an SVP and why he wasn't chosen to replace the EVP that was his boss. How can you just not get it?

I find myself wondering if he completely missed it. How many people go through their lives making a concerted effort to "be themselves" only to become a caricature of who they wanted to be? We never know what others are thinking of us. I work hard to remember the reality that usually they aren't thinking of me, but sometimes they are. What do they think?

Only occasionally have people given me a glimpse of a current image. In college a woman I knew mentioned she saw me from across the room and wasn't sure it was me until I stuck my finger in my ear (I had terrible ear problems in college, not that it's an excuse - what a gross habit). Another in my early scadian days told me that her impression of me was that I was always talking about other people. I took those to heart and I've tried, with varying success, to improve the impression I give. I don't want to be known as the person who is always complaining, or who is easily offended, or who can't get over themselves. I know I still have some issues. I can't help but wonder which ones I'm missing.

*With fond rememberance of Maurice Gibb.