Life's Lessons.

Munch didn't want to go to camp again. So we had a little talk. It seems the kids are teasing him.

First he complained that when he went bowling they reset his game. He was gonna come back to it, he told me, he really was.

Second one he put his red things in this place but the other guy put their blue things someplace else, and he was gonna put his red things there. Then the guy stopped playing with him just because he was cheating.

Then he said they tease him. They call him "crybaby" mostly because when he's mad or upset or frustrated he crys.

So how do you explain to a five year old that all of these severe injustices were actually right on target. Nobody wants to play with a cheater, the world won't wait for you and crying doesn't solve anything. You know, without completely trashing the frail self-esteem of the kid. The kid who even I know is a total wuss. And a crybaby. But I never let him cheat when we play games.

This little talk on top of the quit talking to stangers and wandering around the pool with them talk. What a pain. Of course I guess this is really hitting on one of the reasons I wanted him in this camp. One where he isn't the leader's "baby". One where the older kids are gonna help him grow up a little. Not that it's easy...

It really fits with my mood too. I'm worried about the economy and the stock market - not that we have any great number of investments. I would like to retire someday, though. I worry that it will dive to the point where I can no longer afford the life that I have. I'm not horribly in debt, other than the mortgage, but I'm not confident. We need both our salaries to support the big house in the suburbs. I'm not sure what we'd do if one of us lost their job.

I sat this weekend thinking about how good I have it. Nice husband, nice house, healthy kid, good job. I have so many good things. And they don't make me happy. I'm not even sure if anything or combination of things can make me happy.

I keep thinking about the line from the Jack Nicholson movie (of the same name) where says "what if this is as good as it gets?". I have a feeling I'm there. By outward appearance my life is as good as it gets (short of obscene wealth). And it doesn't make me happy. It doesn't fullfill me. It just makes me sad, and I have no idea what the hell to do about it.

Sigh.