It brought 2 things to mind.

I had thought I'd wait till the dullness passed. Until the leaden feeling lightened a bit. But that's not much like me. I pour a bit more of myself onto these pages than that. Part of it is probably reading as LA works through her pain untangling the knots left in her life. It brought 2 things to mind.

First was the book I just read about self-sabotoge. It was a rather provocative read. It goes a good bit into how our damaged parents do damage to us, not necessarily out of malice but out of their own pain. It spoke of identifying the ways we were injured so that we can make peace with them. There are people who have lived with far more hurt than me. There's damage, though, to all of us.

So the second bit came to mind. From the book I just finished "The Five People you Meet in Heaven". In it there's a bit about parents. Children it puts forth are like panes of glass. No matter how hard a parent trys to keep it clean they leave finger prints and smudges. In the worst cases there are cracks and breaks or a total shatter.

So right now I'm polishing the glass that is me. Unfortunately some bits are pretty hard to get at and I'm not entirely sure there aren't a few dings. But I have faith that I will find my sparkle.