Pondering Life.

Earlier in the week Kenny asked: Is there one person, in this entire world, who is who they want to be?

How can you not respond to a question like that one. And I started to, I really did. Then I had to walk away from the computer and when I did the depth of this question really sank in. Answers didn't come to me, more questions did.

The first and most basic question is what did he mean by that? Does it mean that a person is who they want to be? Does it mean that the person is seen by others how they want to be seen? Does it mean that they get from life or their interactions with others what they want? Basically it's - how much are external forces tied to being who you want to be?

It ties back to the question about caring how others see you. Often things we have, things we get, and our opportunities are based on how others see us. How your boss sees you will really effect you at raise time, or when layoffs are being decided. How your acquaintances see you effects whether they call you to go out on a Friday night. If being who you want to be includes those things it becomes much harder to achieve, because in the end the only one you can really change is you.

If you have a well defined set of values and goals it's not a sure thing either unless you have a realistic chance of meeting your goals. I could be a person of strong values and integrity but if I set for myself the goal of being a world class ballerina, it's gone. If I pin my vision of who I want to be on something like that, I could have everything going for me and never make it.

Then there's the problem of the moving target. At 20 I wanted to be something completely different than I did at 30 and from the 40s it's moved again. I've gotten things I wanted along the way. Made impressions that fit my desired image. Yet many of those things mean little now while others loom largely in opposite of what I'd like now.

We are all, I think, a work in progress. Let us just hope that at the end of our days we can look back and say 'not bad, not bad at all'.