confusion, chaos, disorder

Today there is an SCA event, one that I like, but I'm not there. It's not even like I'm doing anything special today, mostly I'm just avoiding chores. I thought about going and talked myself out of it. I'm not sure if this marks the end on my SCA involvement, forgetting events is one thing but avoiding them is new. I'm just having trouble with the uncertainty of going and not knowing who I will know there and what I will do with myself.

I blame work. The stress-o-meter is pegged and while I don't feel sad I think there is a bit of the depression nipping at my heels. And I'm supposed to do 5 more months of this. Yikes. On the other hand the alternative has a pretty huge yikes factor too. I haven't loved my job in a long time but the advantage was that it was supposed to be a forever job. People retired from the bank after all.

I'm not sure what's worse day to day, the cheery announcements of the people who are keeping jobs or the announcements of people who have found new employers. Friday it was new bosses going away lunch. Nice enough guy, I wish him well. I think his new job is going to eat him alive. He does not have the skills or experience to pull it off. One of my team members bought him a gift card for a restaurant - a $200 gift card. Our team had 3 members. If this goober thinks he's getting a 3rd of that, he's out of his tree.

I do have more bits of information about what is staying and going. More than some folks, less than others. Now it's a case of waiting to see what it all means to me. I guess I shouldn't let it absorb so much of my life. I'm starting to get tedious on the topic.

On the plus side my garden is mostly doing what I hoped it would do when I planted things last fall.